Divorce can be an emotionally taxing experience, bringing with it a whirlwind of feelings that often lead to conflict between partners. Finding ways of minimizing conflict can benefit the well-being of both parties and any children involved.
Below, we offer some strategies to help you manage and reduce conflict during divorce.
Work to Maintain Open Lines of Communication
Open communication is one of the most effective ways to reduce conflict during a divorce. However, it is not only the communication itself that matters but how and when you communicate.
Tips for encouraging open communication during a divorce:
- Schedule regular check-ins at appropriate intervals: Set specific times to discuss important issues, allowing both parties to prepare mentally and emotionally before the conversation.
- Use written communication instead of verbal: Consider exchanging emails or text messages to articulate thoughts clearly without the distraction of emotions that can arise during face-to-face conversations.
- Utilize a neutral third party: Some divorcing couples find that involving a mediator or therapist to facilitate discussions can provide a safe environment for both partners to express their feelings and concerns.
- Establish boundaries for communication: Agree on respectful times and methods for discussing sensitive topics, ensuring that discussions don’t escalate into conflict.
- Schedule dedicated times to discuss tough issues: Instead of addressing challenging matters on the fly or in charged moments, schedule these discussions in advance. This can help both parties emotionally prepare for the conversation.
Seek to Understand the Legal Process
Divorce brings about a significant amount of uncertainty, which can lead to heightened anxiety and conflict. Educating yourself about the divorce process can help you manage your expectations, alleviating some of your fears.
Your attorney can provide information about the process, what to expect at each stage of the divorce, and other information regarding your specific situation. Being well-informed can help you approach situations with a sense of control and clarity, reducing the likelihood of conflict arising from assumptions and misconceptions.
Stay Focused on the Future
Divorce tends to dredge up many feelings and memories. Avoid rehashing past grievances as much as possible and try to focus on the future and what life will look like post-divorce. Visualizing a positive outcome can shift your mindset from one of conflict to one of collaboration.
Work with your attorney to create a plan that outlines your objectives and desired outcomes. This proactive approach allows both parties to keep their eye on moving forward rather than getting stuck in negative emotions from the past.
Keep the Children in Mind
If children are involved, prioritizing their needs can help you stay focused on what matters, reducing the conflict from other aspects of your relationship. Working to achieve a stronger co-parenting relationship can also help you and your soon-to-be ex reframe your relationship to one that is more positive and less contentious.
What Happens When Differences in Parenting Are the Source of the Conflict?
It is not uncommon for differences in parenting priorities and styles to be the source of conflict between a divorcing couple. Parenting difficulties are often cited as a contributing factor to the decision to divorce. So, what do you do in these situations to reduce conflict?
One effective strategy is to establish co-parenting boundaries, similar to how you establish boundaries on communication. While you will develop a parenting plan that outlines each parent's responsibilities and expectations as part of the divorce process, consider also including information regarding how and when you and your co-parent will communicate.
For some, regularly scheduled family meetings can provide a platform for both parents to discuss concerns and resolve issues collaboratively. For others, keeping communication limited to specific topics, at specific times, and through specific platforms (like email) provides strict boundaries that help them avoid contentious encounters.
When mitigating conflict in a co-parenting relationship or when you are estranged from your child’s other parent, don't be afraid to explore your options and find the solutions that work for your family.
Use Your Attorney Wisely
Remember, your attorney is there to advocate for you. Utilize their knowledge and experience; turn to them for guidance when misunderstandings or issues arise. Furthermore, be open and honest with your attorney about your concerns and goals, empowering them to provide advice tailored to your situation.
The attorneys at Singleton Smith Law Offices, Inc. are committed to helping clients find the most effective pathways to resolution, reducing the conflict associated with divorce as much as possible along the way.
Reach out today to discuss how we can assist you in navigating this difficult journey with care.