It's no secret that the holidays can be a stressful time for co-parents. From managing multiple household traditions to creating happy memories for children, there’s a lot of pressure. Meeting everyone’s needs and expectations can be tricky, but it can be done.
With a bit of pre-planning and knowledge, co-parents can easily manage the holidays, giving their children a meaningful holiday experience. The holiday season will be upon us in just a couple months, so now is the time to gain that knowledge and work on that plan.
In this article, we cover some useful tips and strategies for co-parenting throughout special occasions. Regardless of your cultural traditions, these hints can help make holidays easier and more fun for everyone.
Establishing a Holiday Schedule
When it comes to co-parenting during the holidays, there is no such thing as too much planning. You can never start too early or be too detailed.
Work on your holiday schedule for the whole year now. Make sure this plan clearly indicates who will be responsible for what. A prompt, detailed plan will allow you and your co-parent to plan around each other’s schedules. When creating your plan, include all the important details such as the dates, times, and locations of each event. This way, everyone is on the same page, and there are no surprises or misunderstandings later.
Remember, communication is key to successful co-parenting during the holidays, so don't be afraid to have open, honest conversations with everyone involved.
Celebrating the Same Holidays as Co-Parents
Another crucial step is to agree on which holidays both parents will celebrate. It’s important to have open discussions regarding your priorities, family traditions, religious beliefs, and so on.
Once both parties agree on the important dates, they can start working on a schedule.
Some options for celebrating the same holidays include:
- Celebrating all together, with both parents included. Obviously, this works only if everyone gets along and remains drama-free.
- One parent has the children on actual holiday, and the other has them a little earlier or later. Parents can then switch this schedule yearly, giving both the chance to celebrate on the day of.
- Parents swap holidays annually. Those who celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving often use this method. One parent has them for Thanksgiving, and the other gets them for Christmas. Next year, they swap the holidays.
Considering Religious Traditions or Other Cultural Events
With more and more families coming from different backgrounds, you must remember to remain open with about those beliefs and traditions. For example, many American families celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah, and parents should respect one another’s traditions.
Another point of contention can be parents’ special days: Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
It is important to plan ahead and create fair compromises, accommodating each parent. For example, it may be necessary to alter your parenting schedule occasionally. If, for instance, Father’s Day falls on a weekend that is traditionally reserved for the mother, you can allow that weekend to be an exception, resuming your regular schedule afterward.
If you have different beliefs or cultural backgrounds, consider incorporating elements of both traditions into your holiday celebration. It’s your family, and you’re free to create a unique and inclusive experience for your children.
You can also start new traditions with your co-parent and children, allowing everyone to participate in a fresh way.
With open communication and a willingness to compromise, co-parents can create meaningful holiday experiences for themselves and their children.
Creating a Plan for Gift Exchanges
Such a plan can alleviate potential stress and confusion for you, your co-parent, and your children.
Options to consider with your co-parent:
- Agreeing on a spending limit
- Having each parent purchase specific gifts for specific children
- Participate in joint gift-giving, where both parents contribute to larger items or experiences
Whatever approach you take, communicate clearly with your co-parent and your children. Open talks help make sure everyone is on the same page and feels included.
Coordinating Your Vacations
Aligning your travel schedules now can save time and energy during the busy holiday season. Doing so can help you avoid the hassle of juggling different travel arrangements, and it could make the experience more fun for everyone involved.
We cannot repeat this tip enough: Keep the lines of communication open. Work together to create a plan that works for everyone, and remain flexible to change when necessary. With a little teamwork, you can make it through the holiday season with festive fun and without too much stress.
Developing Ground Rules for Communication
Communication and cooperation come easily to some co-parents. For others, it’s necessary to establish clear, concise rules for communication.
When you must establish ground rules, consider:
- Protocols for:
- Scheduling
- Decision-making
- Last-minute changes
- Modes of communication that make everyone comfortable, such as:
- Text
- Voicemails
- Phone calls
Agreeing on these guidelines will go a long way toward avoiding conflicts.
Setting Boundaries for Contact with Extended Friends and Family Members
As with all the tips in this article, this one requires a frank discussion with your co-parent. You must clearly establish who you'll spend time with during the holidays. You want to make sure both parents have opportunities to enjoy time with their extended network. However, you must also know who your kids are with and whether you are comfortable with that company.
Each parent must have some say over who interacts with their children. Setting clear parameters can help alleviate stress and prevent any misunderstandings or conflicts.
Managing contact with outside parties is not just about prevention or worry. A more controlled holiday experience can help create a more cohesive and harmonious family environment. Ultimately, this harmony benefits everyone involved, even if you must reschedule time with your outside loved one. By setting strong boundaries, co-parents can enjoy the holidays without any undue tension.
Finding Creative Ways to Have “Together” Time
Managing the holidays as a co-parent can be tricky, but with a little creativity, it's possible to maintain the magic of the season. Technological options such as virtual celebrations and video chats make including extended family much easier.
Ideas for virtual celebrating include:
- Game nights
- A video tour of each of your holiday decorations
- Everyone makes cookies and decorates them together over video
- Movie nights, with many chat and streaming services allowing for screen sharing
If your co-parent lives nearby, consider coordinating a gift exchange or scheduling time to see one another’s light decorations.
Remember, the goal is to create meaningful memories with your children, so keep the focus on togetherness rather than perfection. With some effort and a little flexibility, there's no reason why you can't have a happy holiday season as a co-parent.
Singleton Smith Law Offices, Inc. is here to help you create a parenting plan that includes a workable holiday schedule. You can meet with our team by scheduling time with us online or by calling our office at (951) 779-1610.