The holidays are a time for celebrating with your family and closest friends. People gather around the dinner table, feast on indulgent foods, and exchange gifts. It is no wonder why this time of year is often so anticipated. Unfortunately, if you recently split from your spouse, you might not be quite as excited about the holidays, especially if you cannot spend it with your children this year. Do not get down on yourself or dwell on the negatives, however. Despite this major life change, there is still much to be grateful for and a way to survive and thrive during the holidays.
Navigating the Holidays
Adjusting to such a massive change can be jarring for anyone and the holiday season can highlight this fact even more, given its emphasis on family and togetherness. However, chances are, life was not so pleasant while you were married. Now, you and your co-parent have the chance to make the best of this year for yourselves and your children, so focus on the positive and learn how to create new traditions.
Remember that, even in the best of times, the holidays are not always perfect, so you should never try to hold yourself to such unrealistic standards. Take a deep breath when you need to, go easy on yourself, and reach out to family and friends for support.
Continue reading for additional tips on how to survive the holidays after a divorce:
- Create some new traditions: If you cannot spend Thanksgiving or Christmas Day with your children because your former spouse will have them, you can create a new tradition with them by celebrating these events on different days. The holidays are what you make of them, so why chain yourself to a particular day? Choose a different day, cook up a feast, and invite some other family members and close friends over.
- Do not make them feel guilty: Your children love both you and your former spouse, so do not make them feel guilty about spending time with their other parent. Even something as simple as appearing depressed when you drop them off will make them feel bad. Although this is undoubtedly difficult, you should not make things harder for them by making them worry about your feelings.
- Try to be flexible: Although you have a parenting plan in place, sometimes plans fall apart and things come up. You and your co-parent should try to be flexible and extend a little understanding toward one another and make adjustments where you can. Moreover, any favors you do for your spouse are likely to be returned, which can help create a better, more cooperative relationship.
- Take care of yourself: Do something nice for yourself over the holidays. Get some rest, go for a hike, go to the movies, or go out with friends. Find something that makes you happy and do it.
Schedule a Consultation with an Experienced Family Law Attorney
The holidays can be difficult for divorced parents and if you feel like your parenting plan is not in the best interests of your children, you can request a modification. At Singleton Smith Law Offices, Inc., our family law team has the experience necessary to effectively assist you throughout this process.
Contact us today at (951) 779-1610 to set up a free consultation.